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Honoring Mom & Dad
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Iyar 20, 5773 · April 30, 2013
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Honoring parents is one of the
select mitzvahs featured in the Ten Commandments. The Torah tells us,
“Honor your father and mother,” and it tells us, “Honor your
G‑d”—implying that honoring parents is on par with honoring G‑d!
After all, no matter how much
respect we give our parents, we can never repay them for their part in
bringing us into this world. But that’s not the only reason to honor
them: it’s also a mitzvah, and that’s reason enough.
Actually, two mitzvahs: honor and respect. What’s the difference?Honor means:
When Mom or Dad enters, stand up. Remain standing until they sit down or are no longer within eyesight. Or they tell you to sit down.Serve and assist your parents however possible and whenever necessary - Serve and assist your parents
however possible and whenever necessary. Feed them, dress them and
provide them with transportation.
[If your parents can afford these things, you are not obligated to pay for them. In fact, parents feel better when they can support themselves financially.]
- If your father or mother has a special place to sit, don’t sit there.
- Don’t contradict your parents to their face. There’s always a discreet way to work with this. When not in their presence, you can express an opposing opinion, but in a respectful manner.
- “I think you’re right, Dad!” is also disrespectful. Mom & Dad don’t require your approval.
- Unless you are asked for your parent’s name, don’t call—or even refer—to your parents by name, even posthumously.
- Parents who are psychologically unstable must still be respected. If it’s getting just too hard, get hired help.
- Parents can forgo honor due to them—for example, to allow children not to rise for them.
- We are also obligated to respect stepparents, parents-in-law, grandparents and older siblings.
Illustrations by Yehuda Lang. To view more artwork by this artist, click here.
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